Saturday, 31 December 2011

The Year That Was

Guess whose back? back again, Siros back to the frame. God damn I always wanted to do that, although thats super lame and all, but I wanted to and given this my blog, I can and will do it.
Its new years eve and Im sitting on a freaking couch infront of a heater. To make it worse, Ive been sitting on my ass since morning, trying to get done with a project report. While my boys are partying hard in Lahore, Islamabad and all across the world probably, (ishpecial shout out to my bro's in murree, you know who you are) while I sit home alone. Kind of brings the whole year full circle, cause thats what the year has been, me not able to spend time with the people that matter most.
Every week for the past three months I've been planning to head out to lahore, but just cant for some stupid reason or the other. Now a certain group has even named me "golibaaz", which is funny, yet sad in the fact that I really cant get away from school. Its almost like being in alcatraz (for those who dont know, please google) or something. Ali Niaz, Farhan Ghani and Umair Shah, the band of brothers, happen to be together as I write this piece, I can only hope that times through 2005-2009 are cherished and sylvester gets his birdie (inside joke, Im sure Farhan will get it).
As the countdown begins to the new year, chelsea ended the year on the same note they started it, being a sorry excuse of a team, a shadow of the team which won the double. Not to forget real madrid have not been able to answer barca's dominance over la liga and the rest of europe. CM Punk almost made my year, ALMOST, but that didnt last long.
Coming to school, my gpa took a massive nose dive, clinging on now. God please be kind, You know Ive never worked so hard at anything like this ever before. Once again, I have had my share of teacher issues, God please do justice. I know You shall.
School, school, school, for the big boys its university, but I refer it to as school, because for me thats exactly what it is. Like its like the old days back again, a mental homework diary, presentations, early morning make ups, saturday make ups, even have this dress code fine, which has become a serious bane and there happens to be this other fine too, yes boys, you know it.
further on, I dont even want to get into the relationship status scene, as a jaiz dude once said "40,000 languages in the world, not one word to describe my relationship status".
Serbia, shout out to you. You have been so kind to me, its beyond measure, everyone I have come to know and the time Ive spent, all epic. the euro trip with my bros (yes Ive started using the word bro too much (shout out to zack ryder (if yout dont know him, google him (i just pulled a bracket inception on your asses)))) was probably something in the year that Id look back fondly.
F6 boys/ table tennis boys/ Jaiz boys, you know who you are, and im humbled by your presence everyday. I wish we can make the most of what we have and we will inshahAllah, no doubt. and then, F6 all the way and i really mean all the way. (shout out to Hammad Khan, your a goiod man, inside joke again)

As I head towards the final third of this post, it has become fairly na jaiz in book, hence on the other end of the candle, my greatest friend and brother Uzair Iqbal graduated from university, giving me greatest sense of pride and fulfillment, Bilal Ahmed Khan, thank you for getting up on stage and singing at this years welcome, if only you knew how good you were, you could own the world in your palm. Shout out to the ICU team, what a start to the year it was, the applause will always stay with me throughout my life. Anyone Ive shared a memory with, Thank you.
Lastly I was finally able to actually address a crowd as the welcome speaker, something I really wanted to do, and I want to end it on the same note I ended the speech...
"Dream big, no actually always dream bigger. Dreams come true and no one can take that away from you. own it and hold it. Stay humble and be Kind. Always Always, Stand Up and Speak Up, Im Muhammad Yasir. God bless you all folks, have a good one"

Monday, 18 April 2011

The Numbers Game

hmmm, there are somethings, you just cant do. Like we just cant fly, cant run over water, cant live without air or water and loads of other stuff. Now, as individuals, some cant play some sports, cant be good at arcades, cant play an instrument and loads of other stuff. Now, lets get to me, I cant do "Numbers". Anything to do with numbers, finance, stats, accounts, maths and everything on God's blue earth, which revolves around or has anything remotely to do with numbers, i cant do.
The reason for sharing: Result season at NBS.


T- Minus 3 Days to Financial Management Exam (72 Hours)

  • First Friday Night at NBS Dorm
  • Sleep: 6 hours
  • Eating/ Shitting/ Internet "SURFING": an hour and 30
  • Youtube (dedicated time people): an hour and 30
  • STUDY finance: 14 hours.
T- Minus 2 Days to Financial Management Exam
  • First Saturday at NBS Dorm
  • 3rd day of constant rice 
  • Sleep: 6 hours
  • Eating/ Shitting/ Internet "BROWSING": 1 hour
  • Youtube: 1 hour
  • Study Finance: 15 hours
T- Minus 24hours to Financial Management Exam
  • First Sunday at NBS Dorm
  • 4th day of RICE
  • Sleep: 4 hours
  • Eating/Internet: 45mins
  • Youtube: 30mins
  • Study Finance: 17 hours
From here on, my thoughts shall guide you forth. 

T- Minus 10 mins to Exam

"I will own this paper today, Finance, not today. For far too long have you haunted me, not today"

T-Minus 30secs to Financial Management Exam

"you got this man, you're the man, you got this, nothing can stop you today, you worked too hard  for this, COME ON YASIR, COME ON, GO TIME"

T- Minus 00:00 = Financial Management Exam "MOMENT OF TRUTH"
"name, section, class, course, all done, probably should go over the instructions, dont want the teacher to trick me into something, its my time,,,"

30secs into Financial Management Exam

"Skip, I can do the next, come on,,,Come on,,Skip, I can do the next, Skip,,okaaayyyy,,,something aint right, i guess i should check, if this paper is Finance"


35secs into Financial Management Exam

"yes, it is"


30mins into Financial Management Exam


"Ne heeray, Ne heeray, Pallayen na kadi sajna noo, Ne heeray Ne heeray, Chaddyen na kadi sajna noo"


THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG)


50 mins into Financial Management Exam


"I guess i'm done"


THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG)


60 mins into Financial Management Exam

"hmm question mein 2 marks tu day hi dayda,,,,,is waley mein 3 tu buntey hain....hmm yaar is mein, is mein, chalo working ka 1 mil jana chahiyay,,,yeh tu poora theek hai yaar,,,,is mein koi kata tu ziyati hogi iski,,,,hmmm is mein aur is mein,,bus yaar,,100 mein se,,ajanay chahiyayyy hmmph (calculator crunching, summing up my total) bees,,20,,,oh teri phain no,,,,werh gay"


THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG)


T- Minus 45 mins left for Financial Management Exam to end


"chal ab sense bun rahi hai,,,chal ab kitney,,,21.5...teri phain da......tujhai kia dushmani hai meray say,,,kia kerdiya hai mein ne,,,mauf ker, ya pass ker"


THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG)


T- Minus 30 mins left for Financial Management Exam to end


"chal puttar ab tu phat gai hai, bus ker, kuch nai bunna, mausum ki enjoy kerlay, koi scene nai,,,"


THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG)


T- Minus 25 mins left for Financial Management Exam to end


"ye kia likhi ja rahi hai,,bhai****** itney tu sawal nai hain,,,kia game hai,,,aur kia keroon mein,,,"


THE theory of the Kismet KinderGarten (KKG)


T- Minus 20 mins left for Financial Management Exam to end


i hand in the exam to one Mr. Haroon Rashid,
Haroon Rashid " so Yasir, how was it?"
Muhammad Yasir " sir, please dont check it now, saley b**d mardi aur kia chahta hai, how was it"






Now then folks, the result is out today and surprising, i don't have the lowest, but i aint in the top bracket either, well not even in the mid, but hey, im not the lowest, okay, not even the second or the third..fourrthh,,ahh ehh i am sure,.

For those wondering what THE theory of the Kismet Kindergarten (KKG) is, well im still refining it, will have to wait for the next blog (cheap marketing gimmick).

On a serious note, never, and i mean never have i put in so much effort for a exam, any exam, and it just didnt happen. so what does this mean? Numbers and i dont go along? YES, BUT, and please note its a CAPITAL BUT...i will get you. One day, finance i will get you, you cant get away with screwing me in the ass all these years and get away without even a poke, i will get you, bitch...I can fly.


Stand Tall.STAND UP SPEAK UP

Thursday, 31 March 2011

I Bleed Green. Reds just a myth.

For those living in a hole, Ive got major news, the Pakistani team was humbled by the Indians yesterday. Sad, yet the truth, the tigers were humbled. Our batsman just didnt have it in them to get the job done, while the mediocre Indian attack got it done.
So now thats over with, what now? where do we head off to now? (fast forward to the 6 paragraph to skip the build up, but shortcuts can only get you that far in life) For the past month or so, facebook has been green. Everyone has been Loud and Proud in support of the team, there have been pictures, videos, status uploads, posts and everything possible. It was almost like people were getting paid to put up stuff, it has been amazing.
After Yuvrag smacked Lee through cover, I had "that" feeling. It was like, "Oh crap, not the sodding Indians". It wasnt that I was afraid of them, but the thought of getting eliminated by the Indians was suicidal. I shrugged off in my room, shoulders down and like every other person who has nothing better to do, logged into facebook, to see something, I propelled my spirit on the highest pedestal in the sky. I saw 50 odd status updates, welcoming the Indians, and how "we" were waiting, how the tigers would maul them and how we had always wanted them, so we could own them. It was a feeling of togetherness, a feeling that I aint alone in this, everyone was in this together and only this feeling of praying and dwelling on the "mother of matches" game, I wasnt alone.
It came, we saw, we were humbled. After possibly the most billed match in recent cricket history, I was sitting alone in my room, holding onto my first ever Pakistani cricket team shirt, sobbing like a boy who had lost his favorite toy. I didnt have in me to get online, check my phone or even step out to refill my water bottle. It was stagnant.
Broken and Battered, rolling in my bed, I did log on and what I saw was disgusting, it was like the team we owned mere hours ago were some sodding basturds that we had put for adoption. I saw videos depicting match fixing claims, pictures mocking akmal, younus and misbah and of course the tool which will lead this generation to greatness and nirvana "the status updates". Sad, yet the truth.
What now? where do we head off to now? Most people will take the easy road, by spraying dirt on the team and going back to their usual sorry excuse of a life, which circles around facebook status updates, others will take the harsh pill of defeat and go into hiding for a week or so, some sorry ass bitches will chant how they were supporting the Indian team and go hopla over that, while the other sorry ass clowns will already be thinking of the football league. Well I have news for you, Its time.
Its time, to stand up and be counted. Lets not put those green shirts and that spirit that we had a day back to rest as if it never existed. Is our love for Pakistan, our patriotism, our anthems, our Pakistani spirit only reserved for ONE cricket tournament. Is that it? is it like, okay, back to it, screw this team, screw them till the t20, Oh yes we shall bring in the national spirit then.
If yes, then you're a bitch. People come and go, matches come and go. We are not kids no more, we've got a generation behind us, looking up to us. Seeking what we are all made off, and if this is it, then dont blame it on any one else, but yourself. We lost a match, yes to India, but this team got us to India. We talk about these players not being able to take pressure, Oh my, please look into a mirror. 1 quiz, 1 project and sweat starts pouring out holes that its not meant to, one presentation comes up and Ive seen people getting panic attacks. We dont know pressure, those boys do.
It amazing, we look to these 11 people, to provide us, what 180 million cant, HOPE. We look to them saying, "okay boys, we dont have power, energy, people dont have food, water, shelter, actually we are totally ass screwed, BUT you better win so we can feel better". That aint it. I say, Salute them. They are heroes, they are my heroes.
Let not waste every other chance we have had our way, just because others let them waste. Lets be the change we want to see. Why cant we be green, when we have lost, why cant we be green when there isnt a match at stake, why? why do we need a reason to be Pakistani? cricket is a game, its not our identity.
They can defeat us, but you cant beat us. Celebrate the green, this weekend shall not be one, where we watch two heavyweights clash in the world cup and curse them, its one where we own ourselves.Nothing can beat us. we dont need reasons to pull on the green shirts. Lets put them on, and wear them LOUD AND PROUD. Its time, to paint the town green. Not because of a match or the world cup, No, because We CAN.

Mr. Ather Hameed, your the man.

God Bless. STAND UP SPEAK UP



Thursday, 24 March 2011

Reporting from Room 111.

For years, years I tell you, Ive been wondering what would be the optimum moment to write my first blog. The "keera" stuck way back when one Ryan Star of RockStar: Supernova fame got blogging on facebook, only to have Barney from How I met your mother to reinforce my blogging bone, Ive been thinking when to start. Years have passed and events have passed me by. Pakistan losing the t20, Pakistan winning the t20, Pakistan losing the t20 again, Iverson back to the Sixers, Chelsea winning the FA cups and the league, Real Madrid won the league, FAST Football Frenzy, ICU, was almost kicked out of the university, graduated from the university, got a job, left my job, got into a new university, hell Federer even won the French Open, but didnt quite work out for me.
So what now? why now? Well the answer is simple, this blog is out of necessity. Its amazing what just a couple of marks can make one do. I had never thought that my first blog entry would be for a E Commerce course, yes people, weird things happen. How conveniently one person can order you to take a dump on all the things that you've been thinking about, amazing aint it. Relative grading is a bitch. To top this, I actually now have a personal website too. Who says you need to be on TMZ or some other magazine front page to have one.
Now that, we have that out of the box, what do I write about, everyone Ive come across, who had to write a sorry blog just for the sake of writing it, has covered it all. From the cricket world cup, about themselves, life at NUST, the politics, thrown dirt at America, thrown more dirt at America, Mr. Raymond "Ill shoot your asses down, and you cant do shit" Davis, and yes, thrown more dirt at America. I actually have nothing major to write.
What was to be my groundbreaking entry into the world of blogging (fairly self obsessive), which was to be a manifestation of perfection has no subject. All those years of wondering how? what? when? have been brushed aside by a couple of marks, how depressing is that. Yet the sad and humble truth. Boy do I need a life.
Hence I have decided that in my first entry, I shall have no real subject to discuss or dwell upon, rather will marvel in the sense of imperfection that this blog entry is giving me. Maybe thats how it was always meant to be. As Les Grossman put it "the universe is talking to you",  maybe perfection aint the name of the game, Its all just supposed to be "Jaiz". Thus folks, its all "jaiz"

Be good. Stand Up Speak Up.